Authenticity is a trait that is often absent in today’s culture. Women in particular fear being different or going against the flow. Wanting to fit in and be accepted, they often choose a counterfeit life.
Think of teenage girls today who so desperately want to be accepted by their friends. Invitations to parties where drinking or drugs might be present are reluctantly attended – just to fit in.
And those that refuse is often maligned and bullied. Choosing authenticity today is difficult for teenagers. However, it’s grip on women is extended into adulthood.
Expectations
Comparison is the thief of joy is a quote attributed to Teddy Roosevelt. Its truth looms large over women today. Consider estrangement and the shame that hangs over women whose children have initiated no contact.
Guilt consumes them as they wonder what they could have said or done differently. Shame envelopes them as their friend’s gush over their kids and grandkids as those relationships have been removed from the estranged mother’s life.
Society expects families to be close knit and yet over 70 million people are estranged. Kids today find it easier to initiate no contact rather than work through difficult relationship issues.
Authenticity Brings Peace
Think of a time when someone expected you to do something you really didn’t want to do. When you said yes and really wanted to say no. Consider a time when you felt a powerful desire to speak up but fear kept you silent.
Consequently, you felt guilt and brooded over your lack of courage to stand for something you strongly believed in.
Conversely, consider a time when you did stand up for something. You spoke up. And went against the flow. Like a fish swimming upstream. Howe did you feel?
Authenticity has power. Don’t be afraid to speak the truth in love. Be the unique woman God created you to be.
People respond to those who dare to be authentic. The greatest listeners to my podcasts came as a result of my willingness to be authentic about estrangement. Courage to share intimate and delicate parts of my life resonated like no other.
Why? Because people relate to those who are going through something similar. They feel like they aren’t alone. That someone understands them. Your authenticity has power to bring purpose to your life to heal and to help others.
How to Be Authentic in Estrangement
Authenticity in estrangement may seem like an impossible task. Here are some tips to help you.
- Be open and honest with yourself about where the relationship stands.
- Choose courage and honesty when the topic arises. You never know if the conversation arose because they needed to hear from you.
- Love is always authentic. Love the estranged person in your life regardless of what they’ve done or said.
- Share your wins. Those times you reacted favorably when triggered. Or resisted the urge to gossip or judge.
- Remain hopeful and prayerful. Ask God to change your heart and give you courage to be authentic about your estrangement when prompted.
Will you Dare to Be Authentic
Emotional pain is often the result of an estranged relationship. Authenticity will help with the healing process. And it will create stronger relationships with those in your life.
God uses a heart that is willing to be courageous and go against the flow when it honors Him. You may be the very vessel He want to use in someone’s life. Are you willing? Will you pray for courage to be authentic?
Until next time, stand courageously and with authenticity and watch to see how God uses you.