Work with Becky

   You may not be able to change the relationship. But you can change what it takes from you.

Estrangement has a way of taking up far more space in your life than the relationship itself.

You replay conversations and wonder what you should have said and done differently. You question whether you did too much, too little, held on too tightly – or finally set a boundary you thought of but never did.

You don’t have to stay there.

A Different Kind of Support

I offer 1:1 coaching for women navigating painful or complicated family estrangement.

You may be estranged from your adult child, a parent, sibling, in-law or another important person in your life. Your circumstances are uniquely yours, but the questions that come with estrangement are often very similar.

Should I reach out – or step back?

How do I know when to set a boundary?

How do I stop replaying everything in my head?

What is mine to take responsibility for – and what isn’t?

How do I work through forgiveness – especially when I don’t feel it?

What if the relationship never changes?

How do I move forward without giving up hope?

These are the kinds of questions I had, found answers to and what we can work through together.

What Coaching With Me Looks Like

I work with women all over the country as our sessions are via phone/online.

Our work is personal, practical and focused on helping you move forward.

This isn’t about assigning blame. Or finding the perfect words that will somehow make the other person change.

Instead, we focus on what you can control.

Together, we may work on understanding the patterns that are keeping you emotionally stuck, separating guilt from shame, deciding when communication is helpful and when it isn’t, establishing healthier boundaries, preparing for difficult interactions such as holidays, and learning how to keep one painful relationship from overshadowing the rest of your life.

Most importantly, we work toward helping you rediscover you – the woman who exists beyond the estrangement.

Why a Coaching Program Rather Than a Single Session?

This is a question I am often asked. While I will do a single session in some cases, most women will choose a few sessions to get to heal and begin to move forward again. Think about what happens when you break a bone. It doesn’t heal overnight. A professional first evaluates the injury, helps put things back in proper alignment, and provides the support needed for healing. Then the body needs time. Healing happens gradually, over weeks and sometimes even months.

Estrangement is different from a broken bone, of course, but the healing process has something important in common: lasting change usually takes time and support.

Estrangement rarely begins with one conversation or event. Often there are years of history, hurt, patterns, expectations, misunderstandings and complicated emotions behind it. In the same way, learning to navigate estrangement in a healthier way usually isn’t accomplished in a single conversation.

A coaching program gives us the opportunity to do more than talk about what hurts today. We identify patterns, work through decisions as they arise, practice new ways of responding, establish healthier boundaries, and build on your progress from one conversation to the next. 

The goal isn’t to keep you in coaching indefinitely. Together we will discuss the time, structure and support to develop the clarity and tools you can use long after our work together ends.

My Faith Shapes How I Coach

My Christian faith influences how I think about grace, forgiveness, hope, relationships and the worth of every person.

I won’t force faith into our conversations, but I also won’t hide an important part of who I am.

If your faith is important to you, there is room for it here – including the hard questions that estrangement can sometimes bring.

If you do not wish to discuss faith – we won’t. It’s up to you and everyone is welcome here regardless of their faith beliefs.

What You Gain from Coaching

I can’t promise reconciliation – no one can do that.

What I can do is help you work toward a place where your peace is no longer dependent on what someone else decides to do.

A place where you can think about the relationship without being consumed by it.

Where you can make decisions from clarity rather than fear or guilt.

Where you can enjoy the people who are present in your life.

Where hope can exist without keeping you stuck.

And where you can begin looking forward again – even amid estrangement.

Learn From My Estrangement Story

You want reconciliation but you can’t just flip a switch and make it happen. I’ve discovered the growth that was needed in me to have a reconciled relationship with both of my kids and my family following years of estrangement. Learn from my mistakes and take from me what did work. 

You Don’t Have to Figure Out the Whole Story Today

If you’ve been carrying this heavy burden for a long time, you don’t have to decide today how the whole story ends.

You only need to decide what your next step will be.

Let’s have a conversation about what’s happening in your relationship, where you’re feeling stuck, and whether coaching with me might be helpful.

Answer a few short questions and let’s set up a call to see if coaching is right for you.