You may wonder what thanksgiving and estrangement have in common? And I understand. Holidays can bring unwanted sadness and grief when families gather and all you can think about is the one with whom you are estranged.
For years, I didn’t like the holidays. When estranged from my family, it caused deep sadness as I remembered the traditions we celebrated together. I felt like an outcast – unwanted and unloved.
And I loved celebrating, decorating, and cooking during the holidays. It was one of my favorite times of the year. It seemed that for me, Thanksgiving blessings were not on the radar.
There’s Always Thanksgiving Blessings
Several years elapsed with family estrangement for me. However, looking back I see many thanksgiving blessings during the holidays. My husband and I created some special memories.
One was thanksgiving in Colorado. It was a chilly but sunny day, and we planned a picnic in the Garden of the Gods Park. If you haven’t seen it, the red rock formations are spectacular surrounded by desert brushes and foliage.
We packed our picnic basket with turkey legs, containers of stuffing and cranberry sauce. Finished with a bottle of wine, bottle opener, plastic ware, and utensils. Oh, and a blanket to spread on the table – which was a large rock!
The memory is far from the holiday gatherings I remember with all the family and more food than we could consume in a month! Those were special times. And this new memory we made in the park is one I will cherish forever. Just the two of us celebrating thanksgiving and all our blessings.
Think Outside the Box
I don’t know what traditions you hold dear, but if estrangement has disrupted those, then I encourage you to think creatively and create new memories for those who are in your life.
Focus on those relationships that are solid, encouraging and loving. It’s easy to focus on what’s not right but that’s not helpful.
Shift your mindset to the fact that you are creating new memories that will last a lifetime. They won’t supersede your older traditions, but they will co-exist and create a space for you to find joy and more thanksgiving blessings this year.
Create a Thanksgiving Journal
Do you have a journal? I started this habit several years ago and it is a source of blessing for me. I find that when I write things down, they forge a lasting memory. Here are some ideas to get started.
- Find a spiral bound journal. I use a 5 x 7 but any size will work.
- Grab a fun pen like a gel or something you enjoy.
- I love to sip on a cup of hot coffee while I write.
- Begin with 3 tangible things for which you are thankful. Think of your friends, family, co-workers, someone that has done something special, a kind barista. You get it.
- Focus on those 3 things throughout your day and especially when those sad memories try to crowd their way into your mind.
As you grow more comfortable with the journal, record a prayer focus for the day and then sit back and watch God work in your life. I’ve been blown away at the times I’ve felt alone, sad and like God was not to be found.
And all the sudden, He shows up in a big way in a prayer focus. It’s encouraging and motivating and brings me into a closer relationship with God.
Happy Thanksgiving to You!
My wish for you is thanksgiving blessings so bountiful you can’t contain them all. And I’ll bet if you look closely, you will see many to fill your mind as you stuff tom turkey and all the trimmings into your belly.
If you haven’t already, consider downloading my estrangement story at www.beckykolb.com/guide and subscribe to my podcast Estrangement: Turning Pain into Peace at www.beckykolb.com/podcast