Brokenness best describes how you feel in estrangement. You were made for connection and when that is lost, it’s a terribly daunting feeling. What if I told you that God wants to use your scars from emotional pain for good?
You may wonder as I did how anything good could come from estrangement but read on my friend. I hope this brings encouragement and hope to continue your journey with a new perspective.
Defining Brokenness
Consider these definitions.
- A state of being damaged or suffering emotional pain.
- A state of strong emotional pain that prevents you from living a normal life.
- A condition that implies messiness, imperfection, or personal weakness.
Do you resonate with any of those? I don’t know a single person dealing with estranged relationships that isn’t suffering from emotional pain. Or would define their situation as one that is messy and imperfect.
My friend, it’s the state of mind where God does his best work.
How God Works in the Brokenness of Relationships
Let me ask this. Do you feel isolated in this emotional state? Do you feel as if you are the only one going through this challenging time? What would life be like for you if the relationship weren’t strained? Would it impact who you are as a person or how you see yourself?
My purpose in asking you to think about these questions is to help you understand that your worth and value isn’t tied to a relationship whether good or bad. God has placed his identity on you either way. And he says you are loved, accepted, whole and his child.
If you’ve placed your faith in Jesus as your Lord and Savior, then you are his and he promises to never leave nor forsake you. And he has so many amazing things to say about who you are to him. Listen to this podcast to hear more about what God thinks of you.
How God Uses the Estrangement for your Good
Okay, here’s where the rubber meets the road. Think of Joseph. Remember the one whose brothers sold him into slavery because they were jealous? They thought they would be rid of him forever. But if you read the story, you’ll see that God placed him into a position of power in Egypt.
But in this power, Pharoah’s wife falsely accused him of unwanted sexual advances, and he was thrown into prison. That’s not fair. He did nothing to warrant this imprisonment but that’s where God used him to gain influence and eventually be released.
Upon release he was given prominence with Pharoah and placed 2nd in command which was a position that would land him squarely in front of his brothers many years later during a famine. Once Joseph revealed who he was his brothers were terrified.
What did Joseph say? “You intended this for harm, but God intended it for good.” Genesis 50:20
How was it good? Joseph was able to deliver his entire family from famine and saved the Israelites from destruction. Joseph endured unfair hardship, and God used his pain and suffering for a greater cause.
How do you know that God isn’t using your situation for a greater good? If we allow him, he will always use our pain and suffering to draw us closer to him and help us grow in our character and faith.
But what if there’s more to it? What if God has a grand purpose for your brokenness? Let me encourage you to turn that into a question for God in prayer. Ask him is there is a purpose in your suffering? How does he want to use this in your life and the lives of others?
How God Used My Brokenness
My estrangement spans many years going all the way back to my biological father. It is estimated today that 67 million Americans are estranged from someone they love.
It was during my divorce and all that surrounded those decisions that brought me squarely into estrangement with my family. I wrestled and bargained and did everything I could to wrangle myself free from the guilt and deep pain that I felt.
But it wasn’t until I surrendered that Jesus said “Now, you’re where I can collaborate with you.” As he opened my eyes to the truth and the love he had for me, the guilt and shame eventually left. Relationships were healed.
And he gave me a passion and purpose to share my scars and his love with women like you.
Where are you in your brokenness? Will you surrender it to Jesus and let him work in your heart? He wants to partner with you to bring good out of this tough situation. And if you let him, he will walk side by side with you, bring healing and peace and show you the greater good.