There is a bridge that connects an unsaved heart and that’s the subject of today’s podcast episode. Women have asked me how to handle their unsaved kids especially when estranged.

That’s a worthy question and one that resonates with every Christian mom around the world. I’ve sometimes overstepped, but always with good intentions. However, your kids will not see it that way. They see it as intrusion into their adult life.

A Mom shared with me that she wrote a lengthy letter to her unsaved kids in hopes that they might be more open once she was gone. Certainly, we desire that our kids find a relationship with Christ but pushing or threatening will only drive them further away.

Listen in today as I share some of the mistakes I made along with some practical tips that can keep you engaged in the spiritual life of your kids.

Avoid Overstepping Bounds Leading to Estrangement

Would it surprise you to know that a large percentage of estrangement is over religion? Chatting with a seller in the real estate business years ago, a woman told me that her adult children hadn’t spoken to them in years. The reason stemmed from their Christian beliefs.

She didn’t elaborate, but I suspect like many of us she may have pushed and prodded a bit too much and it may have been the reason they walked away from the relationship.

What is the difference between genuine love and concern and overstepping bounds? Great question. As parents you often have blinders on when it comes to this subject. You raised your kids in the Church so why have they chosen to reject the faith?

Possibly, they haven’t rejected it, but rather they are turning from pressure from you as a parent to attend Church or turn from a lifestyle for which you are conflicted. Or, they may have abandoned the faith as some day at least for a time as they explore their own values and worldviews.

Today’s Culture is Pressure

Kids are pressed on all sides today with cultural and lifestyle choices that differ vastly from when we were kids. Combine that with a marriage where the spouse brings their own set of values and it’s no wonder your kid rebels against your value system.

Church attendance has dwindled dramatically in recent years. Colleges and universities are a breeding ground for anti-Christian sentiment and even if your child has maintained faith, it’s hard to be faith based in today’s climate.

So, how do you avoid overstepping bounds? A mistake I made was assuming that emailing articles or information I thought was interesting or might be helpful was welcome. It wasn’t. In fact, it was not welcome at all.

My son stated once that he knew where I stood on my faith and he didn’t really want me sending things that they didn’t want to read. Of course, I stopped sending anything.

Prior to that conversation, I purchased a Bible and wrote some things inside for them and gave it shortly after they were married. When my grandson was born, I sent a hard back kid Bible with a little handle that told biblical stories in pictures. I never heard anything from the gifts and later assumed they were not wanted or appreciated.

Of course it hurt. My son had grown up in the Church, and I was hopeful he would support grandma’s desire for the grandkids. What might I have done differently?

Why Must You Be Careful What You Say

There is a bridge that connects an unsaved heart, but when you do not show respect and make assumptions sending faith-based books and articles that are unwanted, you are causing the bridge to weaken. You don’t want it to collapse.

Caution in conversation and writings is not minimizing or shirking your faith. Quite the opposite. The Bible tells us to be shrewd, wise and discerning. Knowing when to speak and when to be silent is part of that trio.

Now, I want to be clear. I am not advocating silence in your faith. As a Christian we are called to be a witness to others. Your lifestyle, words and actions are a large part of that example. You’re not required to accept their lifestyle, choice to party or friends. As adults they now have the sole responsibility to live how they choose.

Grief is a word I hear from some moms who are heartbroken with choices their kids have made. They desperately want to steer them back to the bridge that leads to Jesus. That’s not your job. It’s the job of the Holy Spirit.

So, how can you lead them to the bridge that connects to Jesus when they have no desire?

The Bridge That Connects

Let me share a story about two divergent paths. One is a narrow one and promises to lead to God. The roadmap is the Bible and following the navigation to follow and obey Jesus. The entry fee onto that path is belief in the cross. What Jesus did for sinners when he died and then rose again conquering death and bringing eternal life to all who would accept his gift.

Another path is a wide swath and is crowded with people – old and young alike. It also promises a final destination with God. Unlike the first path, no rules exist. Once can believe whatever they choose and feel is right for them. No entry fee is required. Come one, come all and walk together in harmony.

Walkers on both paths are critical of others on the opposite road The narrow path walkers scoff at those who refuse to believe as they do and offer judgment and condemnation. While walkers on the broad path belittle those on the narrow one, they chide them for their narrow-mindedness, old-fashioned and outdated beliefs.

Often family is split with members on either side. Conflict and estrangement are often the result of their choice of path.

Interestingly, along the path in various intervals is a bridge that connects one path to the other. Walkers can cross over to the other side if they choose. Some on the narrow path can’t bear to live without their child and so they abandon their faith and cross to their side.

Conversely, your child might respond to your prayers or remember their childhood faith and decide the wide berth is no longer for them. They can cross over at any time to the narrow path.

The Crossover has an Expiration Date

Crossing over the bridge that connects does have an expiration at which time no amount of begging or cajoling will render whether they will cross to the other side. And no one knows at what time the expiration arrives.

Jesus will return to this earth as scripture teaches us. He is coming for His bride – the Church. Those that remain on the narrow path and accept his gift of salvation will enter into heaven to be with him forever.

While those on the wide swath of ground can cross at anytime until he returns at which time the fate is sealed. The choice was made and honored. You see, Jesus will never force anyone to walk the narrow path. He gives free will and your child has that responsibility.

As you walk the narrow path, if your child is not estranged there will be opportunities for you to talk as long as they are open. Resist the urge to push or judge. God alone is the judge. He knows the heart. We only know what we see on the outside.

Furthermore, if they are not open to conversation, any attempts to do so anyway will result in possible estrangement. What can you do instead?

Pray They Will Cross the Bridge that Connects

Prayer is the best offensive weapon you possess. You have a direct line to the father who loves you and your kids – even if they are on another path.

Pray specifically that God will:

Pursue them and they will sense His presence.

Prayer is power and you have the ability to use your voice to lift up your loved one and their family. You never know when they may find that bridge that connects and crosses over.

It’s Never too Late

Even if you’ve blown it and opened your mouth one to many times as I did, it’s never too late – well at least not until He returns. Stay on your knees interceding for your loved ones and let God do what He does. He convicts. No amount of parental pressure will do that. Trust God to convict and show them His truth.

Until next time, let’s make an agreement to pray for our kids – even those who share your Christian faith. The world is a crazy place right now and it’s a time to lift up our Christian brothers and sisters around the world and here at home. Prayer is power. Will you exercise that power today and this week?

TOPIC: Podcast