The sting of rejection has been on my mind this week. For Christians, it’s Holy Week and I’ve been thinking about conversations I’ve had with women about estrangement.

Moreover, the rejection these women discuss is typically a child who has walked away. Rarely do I speak with anyone where the parent has chosen rejection.

Siblings, In-Laws, and other estrangement also sting, but the emotional pain of your child choosing to end a relationship with you is deeply personal and hurtful.

Holy week creates an opportunity for you to draw closer to the heart of Jesus. Mocking, false accusations, rejection, loneliness and ultimately a sacrificial death. The good news is Sunday is coming and we know He lives.

Today’s episode relates the sting of an estranged relationship you face with the love and understanding of your heavenly father. Let’s dive in.

Holy Week and the Rejection of the Savior

Easter week. Bunnies, chocolates, and Sunday best clothes come to mind. As a young family, I chose fancy dress up clothes for my kids. Slacks, a crisp shirt and nice tie for my son and a beautiful dress and bow for my daughter.

They weren’t especially enthralled with the choices, but they certainly looked great in pictures. Did you hunt for Easter baskets, that fake grass and candies they would enjoy?

A daughter in law shared how she hid the baskets throughout her house with a piece of yarn inserted. She placed the other end of the yarn at their bedside and when they rose, they followed the yarn to find the basket. A fun tradition the grandkids will treasure.

However, as I’ve grown older and so have grandkids, my heart turns to our Savior and what He endured as He rode into Jerusalem on a borrowed donkey. Triumphant palm branches were waived. Joy and celebration soon turned to accusation and the impending death that awaited.

Joy Turns to Mourning

Furthermore, joy that Jesus followers expressed soon turned to sadness as they witnessed the false accusations and mocking. He was their Messiah. Mary was His mother and His disciples were nearby.

He told them in advance what to expect, but like us, they had a challenging time understanding in real time.

Good Friday was coming along with the sting of rejection. The beautiful story of the resurrection can’t happen without Good Friday – such a day of sadness.

The pain He felt from betrayal of one of his own followers. False arrest, wrongful conviction, torture, public humiliation, and death on a cross.

Can you even begin to imagine what he felt? The emotional pain of all was the rejection by His father as He hung on the cross as the sacrifice for your sin and mine.

We have a Savior that can empathize with us in our estranged relationships because he walked that path here on earth. He knows your pain intimately.

The Sting of Rejection

Your child has either walked away or is distant. Either way, it hurts and you may not understand what happened. Moreover, they may be married with children, and the estrangement includes your grandkids.

Growing up when I thought of Easter, it meant going to Church and gathering with family for dinner. An Easter egg hunt was part of the festivities along with new clothes and a basketful of tasty goodies. In contrast, your relationship with grandkids may be non-existent and you mourn that loss.

A dear friend has a daughter who walked away from her almost twenty years ago along with her three kids. My friend hasn’t seen those grandkids all that time. She wonders what they look like, what they’ve chosen as a life career, and she misses them desperately as she longs for even a glimpse of the dear ones.

As one who has suffered a disconnect with grandkids, I feel your pain. But there is one who feels it even more. The sting of rejection is his specialty.

Jesus Feels Your Pain

Describe your greatest pain right now. If you had to tell someone the most intense pain you feel right now, what would you say? It’s okay if you need a little time to think about it, but don’t belabor this. What do you think about continually?

In estrangement, it’s typically what was said or done that could’ve been done differently. Wondering what was so detrimental that caused a loved one to walk away. Betrayal, false accusations, and shame.

Imagine Peter who was connected to Jesus on earth. Peter walked with him daily. He listened to His teachings, asked questions, witnessed miracles. He knew Jesus not only as the Messiah, but as a friend.

Doubtful that Peter believed Jesus when He told him that before the rooster crowed, he would deny him three times. Yet, that’s exactly what occurred. Read the story in Luke 22:54-62. Jesus knew that Peter would deny Him, but the sting of rejection was no less than had He not known.

Judas was also a disciple that walked with Jesus daily. He dined with him, witnessed miracles, and knew that Jesus was the Messiah. Betrayal entered his heart and he sold out Jesus for 30 pieces of silver. Imagine the pain He felt knowing that this disciple that He chose would betray Him to His death.

Moreover, Jesus knows your pain. He knows the betrayal, false accusations, and shame you feel. He felt it too.

Jesus Heals the Sting of Rejection

Jesus has a message for you as you listen today. He understands your emotional pain. He sees your heart, understands what you feel. His love for you is certain and He wants you to know that this Holy week.

Whatever the cause of the estrangement He is in the midst of it. Even if you created a situation that led to the estranged relationship. That was my story in a divorce situation almost 30 years ago.

If you’ve read my story, which you can find on the website at www.beckykolb.com, you know why estrangement came to me. And yet, even in that sin, Jesus didn’t abandon me. Far from it. He pursued me and led me back to Him. Download and read it if you are suffering from guilt or shame.

Jesus bout with rejection and his death was to restore the world to God. He was the perfect Lamb of God that took away the sins of the world – yours and mine. He suffered to the fullest extent for your sin and that of your loved ones.

His death and resurrection are what heals your heart and mine. Our estranged relationships may not be healed, but our heart can be.

Are you feeling the pain of rejection?

Are false accusations, gossip and brokenness wearing you down?

Will you turn your heart to the one who wants to take it and heal you?

Entrusting Your Loved One to Jesus

Easter is a story that provides the framework for how Jesus wants us to love others. You may say, but I do love my estranged son or daughter.

But have you forgiven them for hurtful words or actions? Have you asked forgiveness for anything you have done to contribute?

Often, you don’t even know what led to them walking away. Such is the case with someone in my life who refuses to talk about what alienated them. There isn’t anything you can do about that but love and pray for them.

However, our tendency is to replay what they did or said to us or about us. You get stuck in an endless cycle that brings pain, shame, and suffering. Aren’t you ready to let that go?

One way you can do that is to focus on their brokenness, fear, or shame. Are you aware of anything that may cause them to behave in the manner they choose? You can enter their story with love and compassion – even from afar. Humility and empathy are what Jesus offered you. Will you offer it to your loved one?

Celebrate and Ponder Holy Week

Today is Passover and our Jewish brothers and sisters celebrate their freedom from Egyptian bondage. As they placed blood on their door, the angel of death passed over their home, sparing their lives.

My encouragement to you this week is to read the Easter story in each of the gospels. Focus on Jesus and what He was feeling as he was celebrated entering Jerusalem all the way to his death and glorious resurrection.

Let Him have your pain as you see what He endured. You can trust Him with it, and you can entrust your loved ones to Him as your let God transform your heart and enter their story with His love and understanding.

Understanding reconciliation may not occur now or for an exceptionally long time. In fact, you may not ever reconcile.

Do your part, surrender your heart, feel Jesus’ pain, and let Him have yours. Stay close to Him surrendering your anger, bitterness, and resentment. Let Him lead you into peaceful resolution with Him as He heals your heart.

It’s then that you’ll discover a peace that passes all understanding.

Easter is Upon Us – Celebrate His Love

My friend, whatever your pain today, I feel it with you. I’ve experienced it all. Shame, guilt, resentment, anger, bitterness, and confusion. However, Jesus loved me to much to allow me to stew in that pit forever.

His life on earth and the gift of eternal life He offers is for all who will receive Him. Moreover, if your child isn’t a believer, you have a wonderful gift to offer and that’s the gift of intercession. Pray for that child and his family.

You may not see results yourself, but God sees and He can change lives. Will you be His willing partner to pray for those you love that do not know Jesus?

Finally, I encourage you to celebrate this Holy week and all that Jesus teaches us about His life of ministry, surrender, death, and resurrection so that you and I can live with him forever. Blessings until next time for a wonderful Easter encounter. May He take the sting of rejection from you.