It’s hard to have hope when your child walks away, but that is exactly where your strength lies. Without hope you’re lost. Thoughts go awry and that leads to a slippery slope you want to avoid.

But it’s hard, right? When phone calls and text messages go unanswered. And they believe you are the enemy when your heart is breaking into with love for them.

For me, estrangement lasted several years and more than once I lost hope. Furthermore, it seemed impossible that restoration would come. Everything was going against me. Until I realized something that turned it all around.

Settle in with me today as I share that truth with you. Let’s get rolling with today’s episode.

Hope

Hope is not just a wish or fervent desire. Scripturally, it a confident and joyful expectation of future good based on God’s promise and faithfulness.

In estrangement, you don’t know if future good exists. The outcome of a reconciled relationship isn’t in your control. Your child walked away and you don’t know how to get them back – or if you ever will.

Biblical hope is rooted in God’s word. His truth is an anchor for your soul. Therefore, you look to His word to find His promises for which you can discover hope.

God’s word is full of truth about hope and your posture as you wait. But how? You’ve tried for so long and reached out and prayed. Nothing. It’s hard to continue to have hope when you see nothing happening.

The House that God Built

God is so good. When you are on your last leg and feel you have nothing but threads to hold onto, he seems to step in and give you a fresh and stronger grip. That’s exactly what happened when everything turned around for me in my estrangement.

And it’s this. God called you to build the foundation on which your child lives. He didn’t call you to build the entire house.

Let that sink in a minute. As a parent, you are charged with building the foundation upon which your child lives. You’ve provided, fed, clothed, educated and given support. Think of the family outings, Church, youth groups, holidays, trips, and school functions.

Throughout the life of your child, you gave support and now they’ve chosen to walk away. How can that be? Where did everything go wrong? How do you hope in a situation such as this?

Those are valid and understandable questions you have. I asked the same. In my life, a divorce and all that surrounded it created estrangement. Moreover, I was the cause of the estrangement. Your situation is different in that you didn’t cause it and may not even know why it happened.

The hope for you today is that God didn’t call you to build your child’s entire house. He charged you with creating the foundation and you’ve completed your job. You aren’t responsible for the choices they make. Hopefully, you’ve been able to influence them enough to make good decisions, but they won’t always.

In fact, they will make defiant decisions at times. As they spread their wings, they create independence and finding their own way. What is your role? How do you maintain hope when your child walks away?

How to Have Hope When Your Child Walks Away

As parents, we want to keep parenting, don’t we? A mother never stops caring or worrying about her kids. Even when they disappoint us. They’ve been hanging with the wrong crowd. Experimenting with drugs or alcohol. Choosing a mate, you feel is not good for them.

My friend, the role changes as the foundation is laid and the building ensues. The more you continue to parent and attempt to insert your life and views into theirs the more they rebel and choose to walk away.

This may not be the reason your child walked away. But so often, as I listen to women estranged from their child, the shifting roles was at the core of the issue.

Women have asked, so then should I just clam up and say nothing?

When the Parental Role Shifts

Your child knows your beliefs. They know how you feel as they’ve lived 17, 18 or more years with you. They want to make their own decisions and stand on their own two feet. Furthermore, they want your support.

The rub comes when you can’t support their decisions. Your Christian beliefs will not allow you to support certain things. They’ve chosen a mate and walked away. Grandchildren are born and you aren’t there to participate and get to know them.

How do you have hope when they walk away in situations like that?

Prayer

Prayer is the answer to keep hope alive. You can disagree with your child but not reject them – even when that’s what they have done to you. You may have lost hope in the relationship and you see no way toward resolution, but prayer will keep hope alive. Yes, you’ll continue to hope and pray that this relationship is reconciled and restored. But the outcome isn’t in your control.

What is in your control is prayer and posture of your heart. When you can’t control the outcome, change your heart.

Psalm 31:24 says to be strong and take heart, all you who hope in the Lord. Let hope be your anchor as you wait for God to intervene. And if you never see that trust that he still holds you and your child near. Don’t neglect praying for your child. They need your prayers more than anything else.

They may reject you and walk away from the relationship, but you still have influence as you pray for them. Hold on to that.

Will you accept the changing roles in motherhood as your child walks away?

Will you ask God to keep hope alive as you seek out his promises?

It’s hard to live with hope when your child walks away, but you can do this. With the help of his holy spirit, you can gain strength for today. And that’s all you need – enough strength for today. Because tomorrow he will be there too and provide more of what you need each day.

That’s it for today. Until next time – Stay focused on God and not your estrangement. Keep hope alive as you trust in our Lord.

TOPIC: Podcast