Meet Becky Kolb

I never expected to walk through family estrangement nor did I realize how deeply it would affect my faith, identity and purpose. Estrangement doesn't just disrupt a relationship; it disrupts the role you thought you would always have.

I work with women navigating estrangement connected to an adult child, including the often misunderstood pain that comes through next generation relationships. Sons and daughters-in-law, grandkids and other family members. Some have no contact at all and others have contact but feel shut out, blamed and ignored. While circumstances differ, the grief and emotional pain is the same.

My story of estrangement

Following a particularly difficult divorce and all that surrounded it, I was estranged from most of my family for several years. The divorce led to a decision to give up an adopted daughter and the shame and guilt was overwhelming. Holidays and special times such as birthdays were especially difficult. My role as mother, daughter, sister and aunt were all negated. I felt like a total failure.

I struggled with self-worth as I believed what others said about me. Guilt and shame were constant companions. Anger, bitterness and resentment followed and soon I cycled between feeling betrayed and being a terrible person – neither of which were conducive for a healthy relationship with anyone, especially God.

Generational trauma was unfolding in my life and I had yet to unpack all of it.

Although God and my faith had been an important part of my life, I was confused and struggling with it all. Honestly, I missed my faith in God. It had been along time since I opened a Bible or even prayed. I just knew that God must surely hate me if my own family did – and if Christians were going to judge me like this, then I wanted nothing to do with it. Yet, God seemed to be nudging me to come back to him.

And that’s exactly where God met me when I cried out to him. Confessing the guilt and utter mess of my life, imagine my surprise when I turned back to him to see his arms were open wide welcoming me back. The first relationship to heal was with Jesus.

You can read my full story on on the link above.

Forgiveness and restoration was the eventual result that brought lasting peace. I’ve reconciled with my family and relationships are stronger than they were before we were estranged. Was it easy? Absolutely not. Was it worth the effort? Most certainly.

Do all relationships heal and reconcile? Absolutely not. Estrangement may last for a period or for a lifetime. The one person you have control over is you. You can find peace even if the relationship never restores.

My Approach

Christ-centered without judgment
Compassionate and understanding
Practical, steady and grounded
Hope filled without false pretenses

You don’t need to justify your pain or minimize your story. And you don’t need reconciliation to experience peace.

My hope is to walk with you as you release what you were never meant to carry as you reclaim your identity in Christ and learn how to live fully again.

Are you ready to take that next step? To finally let go of anger, bitterness and resentment? To explore the possibility of forgiveness and the blessings that come with that decision. And discover the lasting peace you desire. Start by subscribing to my podcast on Apple (or your favorite platform) to hear weekly episodes that will help you deal with estrangement and difficult relationships in your own life.

You don’t have to suffer or do this alone. Schedule a free discovery call to explore whether coaching is the right next step. Reach out to me here and let’s schedule a no-obligation call.

I help Christian women with estranged and difficult family relationships who want...

freedom from guilt and shame.
to rediscover/rebuild a healthy relationship with God.
to learn healthy communication habits.
to discover the process of forgiving.
to move on amid estrangement when reconciliation isn’t possible.
to set boundaries and non-negotiables for lasting relationships.
to learn when to reach out to make amends and when to pull back.
to identify triggers and develop healthy responses.
tips to help their partner navigate estranged relationships, especially those who are estranged from their kids post-divorce.

Because I’ve experienced firsthand the emotional pain I understand your struggles and the difficulties you face. I learned many hard lessons and my passion is to help people like you navigate this silent epidemic that many refuse to even discuss because of the shame they feel. Staying silent and burying the pain will only make things worse. You have a voice and the right to be heard. I’ll be that non-judgmental partner to listen and help you navigate and discover the answers you seek.

Certifications and Training

CTA Certified Life Coach – Coach Training Alliance
Family Estrangement Training Level 1 via Dr. Becca Bland

What’s Next?

Are you ready to have a discussion about how I can help you experience freedom from guilt and shame, learn the process of forgiveness, discover lasting peace? Tell me a little about you in the short questionnaire.

Not quite ready to do that, but want to stay in touch? Check out my blog where you’ll find food for your soul from devotionals and inspirational topics that I write from my quiet time with God.

And my podcast where you’ll discover new and fresh insights to help you navigate these painful estranged relationships. Things like how to navigate the holidays and what happens when you forgive but they don’t.

And if you just have questions, contact me here and let’s talk.

Life coaching is not therapy. It’s focused on today and what you desire for the future. We work together for ways to help you move forward for I believe the answers lie within you. A coach will help you see what you can’t and helps you find those answers. I found that talking with close friends provided support, but they were too emotionally involved and hesitated to tell me what I needed to hear for fear of risking the friendship. Friends are not usually skilled to challenge where needed and help you move to your goal. I will offer insight and different perspectives for you to think about. I may ask hard questions and I’ll offer feedback, but you will decide what will work best for you.

I am passionate about helping women move from where they feel stuck to where they want to be. And as a result, you will find clarity and direction to move forward into your dreams and goals personally and professionally.

Becky lives in the Phoenix Arizona area. She and her husband, John, enjoy traveling internationally and entertaining. Together, they have 5 adult children and 14 grandchildren.