Attempts at managing your thoughts can be an exercise in futility. Yet it’s essential to maintain healthy emotions when dealing with estranged relationships.

If you’re like me, you’re well on the trip to nowhere before you discover your thought process was hijacked. Have you ever started reading and all of a sudden, your thoughts have taken off in a completely unrelated direction?

Well, you aren’t alone. Distractions do that and it happens to the best of us. Today I want to share three tips to manage thoughts that will help you find your way back to a healthy highway. It will take some practice, but I assure you it will be worth the effort. Ready? Buckle up and let’s go.

Thought Management

Managing your thoughts may be a new concept. A class I took in my real estate days taught me this statement. Think about the things you think about and the things you think about change. It sounds like a tongue twister, but it’s full of wisdom.

You’ve heard it said, “You are what you eat.” Well, it’s true of thought management too. What you think, you are. Furthermore, this seemed like worldly wisdom to me until I discovered a scripture that backs up the statement.

Proverbs 4:23 says “Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life.” This verse teaches you to be careful what you think because thoughts shape actions.

Philippians 4:8 tells us what to think about. “Whatever is true, honorable, just, pure, lovely, commendable – if there is any excellence, anything worthy of praise, think about these things.”

How are you doing with managing your thoughts? Don’t be discouraged. I’ll help you. Let’s look at step one.

Step One to Managing Your Thoughts

In the Proverbs 4:23 scripture you’re challenged to guard your thoughts. Step one is to set up a guard manager. I decided to use those voices in my head to my advantage. You know the ones that tell you that you’re not worthy. And that you’re unlovable. Those that try to shame you. Yeah, those voices.

Grace became the imaginary guard I set up to manage my thoughts. Name yours whatever you choose – something you’ll remember. As I prayed to God, I asked him to help me (Grace) to pay attention to the thought processes entering my heart.

 Amazingly, as I began to pay attention to my thoughts, I discovered how negative some were. Moreover, some of those thoughts were outright lies. Do you see how easy it is to slide down the slippery slope when you aren’t managing your thoughts?

Therefore, Step one is to be aware of your thoughts. Keenly aware. What is being said in your head? Fair warning, you’ll be amazed at some of these thoughts as they often play in the background. Subliminally they affect your attitude and determine the outcome of your day.

Step Two

Moving into step two is where the rubber meets the road. Where real work begins to emerge as you are managing your thoughts.

Challenge those thoughts. Are they true? Where do they come from? What’s behind them? Who is behind them? This voice for challenging has a name for me. It’s Charlee the Challenger.

For example, let’s assume that Grace the guard has identified a thought. It tells you that you are just not worthy. You’re a failure as a mother and the estrangement is all your fault. You begin to feel sad and aren’t even sure why.

Now that you have a guard set up to help you, you throw up a stop sign. Like a traffic police officer, you put Charlee the Challenger to work to challenge the validity of those thoughts.

Managing Your Thoughts with Step Three

Okay, you’ve set up Grace the Guard, Charlee the Challenger, and it’s time for Wendy the Weeder. Wendy’s job is to weed out those lies and replace them with truth. Here’s how that works.

Grace tells you that you are unloved. Charlee challenges that thought and says it is untrue. Wendy replaces it with scriptural truth that says God so loved the world that he gave his only son for you. You are loved. Dearly.

Grace also identified that thought that told you that you’re a terrible mother and estrangement is all your fault. Charlee challenged that against scripture and tells you that when you confess your sins, God is faithful to forgive and cleanse you from all unrighteousness.

Are you guilty? Perhaps, but if you’ve confessed it to God, he’s forgiven you. That lie has no hold on you. Therefore, you can let it go. It’s simply not true.

Wendy the weeder comes in with truth. God does love you. He has forgiven you. He has redeemed you. He is near to the brokenhearted (you). He listens and hears your prayers. You can use these three steps in managing your thoughts over your life.

The Board of Directors is Really the Holy Spirit

Setting up that board of directors in my mind was a simple step to help me. The reality is that God’s spirit lives in you as his child. He will help you guard your heart, challenge and weed out untruths as well as replant his biblical truth in you.

Whether you decide to use this method of assigning names or simply use pen and paper to record thoughts as you notice them, the process remains.

Managing your thoughts is essential in your estrangement as you seek to discover lasting peace. You see, it all starts in the heart (mind). God has a reason for telling us to guard our hearts. Without proper management, your thoughts spiral and you begin to believe the lies that have hijacked them.

Once that happens, negativity and depression are nearby and those affect your attitude and other relationships too.

As a Woman Thinks in Her Heart

True is the statement that as one thinks in their heart, so they become. Garbage in – garbage out. Truthfully, you are a woman created by God himself. He’s given you the attributes that make you unique. He adores you. Others may have rejected you but not God.

Quite the opposite. He’s given his only son to redeem you. He’s forgiven you, loves you and longs to be in relationship.

Estrangement creates the illusion that you aren’t worthy. Someone has rejected you. We all want to be accepted and loved. Focus on that truth. You are both.

Focus on who God says you are and if you haven’t done it already, listen to an earlier podcast where I tell you exactly what he thinks of you. You’ll find it at www.beckykolb.com/11

Are you Ready to Change your Thinking?

What thoughts create anxiety and fear within you?

Will you commit to pay attention and set up a guard to challenge truth versus lies?

Do you know what God’s thoughts are toward you?

God stands ready to help you in managing your thoughts. Don’t suffer under the guilt and shame the enemy feeds you. Further, do not swallow the lies. Take the first step in guarding your heart. Then challenge the thoughts.

Finally, weed out the lies and replant with scriptural truth. Getting into the word to seek what God says about you will also bring peace and joy as you embark on this journey to take captive your thought process.

Until next time, I pray for God’s intervention as you guard your hearts and challenge those thoughts. It will change your life and bring the peace you seek.

TOPIC: Podcast