Today I have a Valentine’s Message for the Estranged Heart. If you’re listening, then it’s for you. Love is worth celebrating. And for those with an estranged relationship, it may be feelings of sadness as you reflect on love lost.
Well, cheer up my friend, I have a love message for you today.
No matter what you are feeling today, there is one that loves you deeply. Who has promised to never leave you. A rock that where you can find shelter, refuge, and peace. Settle in and listen to a message about this great love for you.
A Valentine’s Message for the Estranged Heart
Estrangement is tough. Sometimes it makes absolutely no sense. Your loved one has chosen to reject you, and you may not understand why. You’ve reached out and tried so many times to restore the breakdown. But your actions are met with silence. Deafening silence.
Today I encourage you to surrender those feelings of abandonment and unworthiness. Surrender your anger, resentment, and bitterness. A dear friend used to say to me, “Feel the emotions, just don’t let them stay.”
I’m not asking you to pretend those don’t exist. They do as I know so well. But lay them aside and open your heart to receive love today.
Think Back to a Happier Valentine’s Day
Let’s think back to a happy Valentine’s Day. Where were you? What was going on? I’m dating myself, but back in my grade school days, we had parties. Parents were asked to bring cupcakes or cookies. We decorated brown paper bags with hearts.
Remember those boxes of valentines that you could buy for under a dollar? Everyone in the class would place their valentine in a sack and with 25 to 30 students per classroom, we all had that many valentines. Plus, delicious, sweet treats.
Now that your mind is set on a joyful day to celebrate love, let me tell you about the greatest love you’ll ever experience.
The Greatest Love to Celebrate
If you’ve read my story, you know that I’ve had estrangement throughout my life. Then you know that the breakthrough for me in dealing with emotional pain came through a renewed relationship with God.
If you haven’t read my story, find it on my website at https://beckykolb.com/meet-becky. It’s a free download.
Feeling abandoned, rejected, alone and unloved, I turned back to the only place I knew. My life was a mess, and I desperately wanted peace and just to feel whole again. Nothing I had turned to previously was getting it done.
I missed my kids and my family. Days and years passed with no contact and the unworthiness was suffocating.
However, when I returned to Jesus, he met me in the depths of my despair. His arms were open wide and welcoming back home to him.
If you’ve lost your way, consider that it’s time to come home. There is someone waiting for you that longs to see you, talk with you and heal your pain.
How to Return Home
Perhaps you are a long time Christian. Or you’re new to his family. What is your current relationship with Jesus? If you’re like me in the height of my estranged years, it may be non-existent. Slowly, I slipped away. No longer did I go to Church. Feeling judged and ashamed, it was the last place I wanted to be.
That was the enemy talking to me. I didn’t know that at the time as I felt justified for not going. Frequent nudges to return to my Bible and God wouldn’t go away. He was calling me home.
Finally, I made a slight turn and considered the possibility. Would I be welcome? Rejection by loved ones causes you to question those things.
What I discovered is that as I prayed and asked God to help me, he did. He began to open my eyes to truths I had read in the past. Bible verses or stories that I had long forgotten.
It led to a confession that I had completely messed up with some decisions made and once again I looked for him. Today, many avenues exist for Bible reading. You Version Bible app is one of my favorites. Find topical studies that are 3 days or 5 days or longer if you like.
If this is where you find yourself, here are some steps to consider.
- Get alone – just you and God.
- Pray – it’s just a conversation. Don’t get caught up in lofty words or uncertainty. Just talk to him about where you are, for what you long. Ask for forgiveness where you have wronged others.
- Tell him that you want him in your life. That you accept the sacrifice he made for you – Jesus in place of your sins. Ask him back into your life.
- Find a daily devotional to read whether it’s in You Version or another Bible app. Or dust off your bible and start with the gospels – Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John.
And open your mind to going back to Church. Admittedly, it was some time before I felt comfortable with that stage. Seek out a friend or two that will encourage you in your commitment to follow Jesus and come home.
The Valentine’s Message for Your Estranged Heart
Focus on who God is and what he says about you. The next step is to focus on who God is.
- He is Redeemer – he redeemed your soul.
- He is Eternal – without beginning or end. He has always been and will always be.
- He is Powerful.
- His Word is flawless and endures forever.
- He is Provider and Sustainer.
- He says he is your guide, counselor and helper when making decisions.
And then focus on who he says you are to him.
- You are loved.
- You are righteous in his sight (without sin – clean).
- You are forgiven.
- He promises to never leave or forsake you.
- He calls you his friend.
- He is your rock and your refuge – your protector.
WOW! That’s some amazing love letter if you ask me. So, as you contemplate Valentine’s Day – the day set aside to celebrate love, focus on his love for you.
It’s real. It’s eternal and no one can take it from you. Today you have a choice, focus on your estrangement and sadness. Alternatively, focus on the greatest love of your life. I hope you choose the latter. It’s what got me through my toughest times.
Trying to Find Peace in Estrangement?
Peace is an odd thing. One minute you have it and the next it’s elusive. And it has to do with your thought process.
Are you easily distracted? It’s my greatest weakness. I can be in the middle of a prayer and all of a sudden, my thoughts are somewhere focusing on a conversation I had years ago. That also is our enemy in an attempt to keep you and I from focusing on God.
Simply ask God to redirect you back to him. One of the greatest helps for me in discovering peace is something I’ve written for you. It’s a free download. Just go to www.beckykolb.com/guide It’s a workbook that you can move through at your own pace.
You’ll find helps, scriptures and thought-provoking questions and I know you’ll discover peace as you submit your process to God.
Will you accept the Valentine’s Day Message for the Estranged Heart?
Will you get alone today and ask God back into your life?
Welcome home, my friend. Back to the one who cherishes and adores you. I wish you a happy valentine’s day, peace, and love. You’re an amazing woman and I’m glad you are here. I hope you’ll tune in or better yet, subscribe to this podcast if you haven’t already.
And I’ll ask you to show me some love if you are so inclined. Leave me a review on the podcast channel. It will help others find it too.
That’s it for today. Until next time – Stay focused on God and not your estrangement. Change your focus and change your life.