I’m one that never thought I could find peace in estrangement. Estranged relationships were on my mind constantly. Over the holidays I heard from an abundance of women s=who struggled with their emotions and self-worth because of estrangement with a loved one.

I’ll bet that you, like many others, are elated the holidays are behind you and the emotional pain goes dormant until the next trigger such as a birthday.

My friend, are you tired of living like that? Do you long to find peace? Lasting peace to fill your heart so that there isn’t room for the pain? I have a solution for you so settle in and let’s explore this together.

2026 – A New Beginning to Face Estrangement Differently

I don’t make new year resolutions because frankly I start out on fire and with all the gusto I can imagine and then burn out quickly and resolve to try again next year. Instead, I choose a word or phrase that I want to focus on.

Reflecting on where I struggle most, I pray and ask God to help define a word or phrase that he and I can ork on together.

Because I’ve just relocated from Arizona to Texas, my words were hope and revitalization. Hope to anchor my heart in Jesus and the scriptures. Never once has he failed me. As I spend time with God in my daily Bible devotionals and prayer, I find hope and strength for the day.

Revitalization because it’s difficult at this age in life to move to a new place, leaving behind friends, a social lifestyle, and familiar surroundings. But that’s exactly what we did and I’m confident that God intends to revitalize us where we are.

Sensing that God wants me to trust him as we search for a new church and meet new friends. The passion that he ignited in me to help women in estranged relationships is still there and it is here that he will renew and ignite that passion in a fresh new say.

You don’t have to relocate to find new passion and peace. However, it’s 2026 and you have a fresh new slate – a new beginning to view your estranged relationships anew.

How to Discover Peace in Estrangement

Chances are you’ve read my story, you know that I’ve had estrangement throughout my life. And some of those relationships are reconciled and restored. Some aren’t. Heartbreaking are the comments I heard from women that reflected the heart I once had.

Oh, I’ve asked all of those questions through tears and anguish.

What if I told you, there is a different narrative. That your focus may be in the wrong place? You’re giving the devil an opportunity to keep you locked in a mental prison. Do you want to escape all of that? Here’s how.

The First Step for Peace in Estrangement

Three words. Change your focus. My friend, like I was, you are focused on the other person with whom you are estranged. It consumes you. And it causes you to be miserable. Frankly, it makes others around you miserable.

So, my advice for 2026 is to change your focus. Get your mind off the estranged person for now and onto yourself. Does that sound strange? It did to me at first. What was I to think about? That I was miserable and unlovable?

Just the opposite. Put your focus on who God says you are. And if you don’t know, let me help you get started.

Endless is the list. Get your mind off the estrangement and into the word of God. Google or use a concordance to look up who God says you are. And if that doesn’t light your fire and change your focus, well…it will!

Discovering this New Identity

Armed with this knowledge of who you are in Jesus, your mind shifts. Therefore, make it a practice to choose one of those scriptures and focus on it for a day. For example, God says you are his daughter. He is your father. If you had a poor relationship with your father, that may not set well.

Focus on who God is and not who your father was. The next step is to focus on who God is.

Continue with your concordance or google the character of God and then focus on those attributes. God is your father and he is loving and protective of you. He always has your best interest at heart. He has your back. He sees you and what you’re going through. He cares. He hears your prayers. He loves you so love him back.

Change your Focus and Find Peace

As you change your focus to who you are in Christ and on his character, you will have less time to think about estrangement. Of course, you don’t forget it completely. Estrangement is still there. You’ll just think about it differently.

Ask God to help you see the other person through his eyes. That was a game change for me. Rather than focusing on what they did to me, I began to think about why. What was going on in their life that would cause them to act the way they did?

He began to show me glimpses of their life that were painful to them. I couldn’t do anything to help them, especially since they no longer wanted me in their life. But I could pray for them. Praying that God would help them with their inner struggles created a calmness in my heart.

Estrangement creates pain not only in your heart but in theirs too. The child or loved one who left isn’t at peace either. Focusing on your pain doesn’t help. Change your focus to God and what he wants to do in your life and peace will follow.

 What’s your Word for 2026?

I told you that mine were hope and revitalization. I am asking God to revitalize my relationship with him, my friendships that will be made, my involvement in my community and in a new church. What’s your word?

Consider getting alone with your Bible. Read devotions in an app such as You Version that gets you into scripture. Pray and ask God to show you where he wants to collaborate with you this year. Here are some ideas to pray about and consider.

Sit with God in prayer and ask him to show you. He’ll bring a word or phrase to you. Write it down and then begin to find scriptures that support. Change your focus and discover peace in estrangement. A peace that passes all understanding.

Happy New Year my friend. To those who have reached out on my fan mail on the podcast, I hear you and appreciate your comments. I’m getting settled with the move so I will be more consistent with the podcasts and have some thoughts I’m praying about with regard to an online support group for estranged women. Feel free to share your thoughts with me.

You can always reach out to me at becky@nullbeckykolb.com or on my website at www.beckykolb.com/contact

I’ll be checking those often.

That’s it for today. Until next time – Remember it’s a new year. It’s time to change your focus and discover lasting peace in your estrangement.

TOPIC: Podcast