It’s a new year. Are you ready to rise above estrangement and adversity and chart a new path for yourself? I’m not talking about establishing new years resolutions. I am talking about revolutionary changes.
Change can set your heart free from anxiety and worry about anything and everything. There has never been a better time than now. You’ve just come out of the holidays and may have experienced sadness over loss of relationships.
I reached that point in my life and discovered the #1 relationship that could transform all others, and I’ll talk about that and offer some strategies for you in today’s episode.
Are you ready to close the door to the things that cause you grief, sadness, shame, and worry? You can rise on the winds of adversity. Let’s roll!
Estrangement and Adversity Build Character
How many times have you heard this? Eat the vegetables as they are good for you. Feel the burn when you exercise – it’s good for you. Well, those are true statements, and I’ll add another.
Adversity and estranged relationships can be used for your good if you’ll allow it. That’s a pill I didn’t want to swallow. It was hard going down and I gagged a few times. But like all good medicine, I discovered that the hardship and anguish I experienced in estranged relationships could be the catalyst to build character for my good.
Furthermore, let me illustrate further. Think about a relationship with whom you are estranged. What have your emotions been around that? I can imagine a few.
- Sadness
- Isolation and loss
- Feelings of unworthiness
- Being unloved
- Guilt and shame
What if I told you that you could take some of those emotions and turn them into positives? That they could be used to cement your value and identity to someone who loves you immeasurably. Someone who promises to be with you always so that you never have to fear being alone. Let me introduce him.
The God of the Universe Pursues You
Estrangement creates that feeling of aloneness. Of feeling unworthy and unloved. That’s exactly how I felt when I was estranged from my family years ago. Until I met the one who pursued me and refused to give up on me.
Growing up in a Christian family, I went to Church and youth groups. I knew Bible stories and I knew how I should act considering that. For many years, the faith I carried was shallow. I believed in God. And I prayed. But continued living my life as I always had. What I’m saying is that my faith didn’t change me.
Until I made some decisions that caused my family to abandon their relationship with me. Judgment, guilt, and shame were the clothing I wore for a long time. If they didn’t love me, then how could I believe God would? I didn’t abandon my belief in God, but I didn’t believe he loved me or cared much about my circumstances.
I began to feel nudges. Much like someone touching your arm before they tell you something. A gentle touch. I began to recognize that God was trying to get my attention and sensed he wanted me to pick up my Bible again.
Reluctantly, I did just that. Where would I start? I began with Psalms and read stories of betrayal, sinful sexual encounters, and murder. WOW, this was in the Bible. It read like a novel. But these stories had a hero who guided, protected, forgave, and offered compassion and mercy. The hero was God.
And over the course of a few years, I learned that God was pursuing me. My story was much like those I read about in Psalms. God forgave them. And he loved them and pursued them. It was the beginning of a new identity for me.
What I had felt was judgement and rejection by him was simply not true. He was waiting for me to turn around and see that his arms were open wide to welcome me home. I began to see that I could rise above estrangement and adversity.
What God Says About You
One of the most compelling things I learned about God is who he said I was to him.
- A child of God
- An heir to his throne
- Justified (just as if I’d never sinned)
- Sanctified (set apart for his plan and purpose for my life)
- Loved deeply
- Gifted – he gives spiritual gifts to be used for his purpose through us
- Eternally secure – he promised to never leave or forsake me
Now, when you’ve felt the sting of rejection or abandonment, these are some significant truths that require time to sink in.
And because you’ve been steeped and mired in guilt, shame, unworthiness and feeling unloved, you must unravel those as you replace them with these new truths. Unlike my earlier belief in God, this truth in him was life changing.
How Do You Begin a Relationship with the Creator?
Whether you’re new to this or an old faithful believer who has strayed from him, he is ready for you to come home. And he will use your newfound relationship in him to help you rise above estrangement and adversity. You will receive tools to grow your faith and see yourself in an entirely new light.
And that will revolutionize your relationship with him and with others too. Have you ever seen someone newly in love? Their faces are flushed and beautiful. They exude joy just by being in your presence. That’s what this new relationship is like.
God loves and pursues you. He doesn’t want to give you religion. A relationship with you is what he desires. And he made that possible in the person of Jesus Christ. You see he knew that we as people had rebelled against him and his ways, because we think we can do life better. We don’t feel like we need God to intervene.
Because of our sinful ways, we lost the connection to God. He wanted to reconnect and to do that, he sent his son Jesus, born of the virgin mary, to live among us on earth. He taught us his ways, his love, his mercies, and his forgiveness. When we trade our sinful lives for his redemptive work on the cross, we are his children, and the connection has been restored.
Haven’t you been on the internet working away and lost the connection? Your work wasn’t saved, and you had to start all over again. It’s so frustrating when that happens. Well, that’s what happened to us. We lost connection because of our sin. God wanted to restore it.
No matter what you’ve done or how you feel, God says:
- You are my child, loved and forgiven.
- I want a relationship with you, and I’ll continue to pursue you until you accept.
- I promise to never leave or forsake you.
- I’ll take that guilt, shame and unworthiness and give you a crown in its place.
- And all you must do, is accept the sacrifice I gave for you – in the life, death, and resurrection of my son Jesus.
If you haven’t asked Jesus into your heart, will you consider it today? I promise it will be life changing and he will use this new relationship to help you rise above estrangement and adversity. He’ll give you a purpose and peace will flood your soul.
Rise Above Estrangement and Adversity
I needed to get through the earlier things before we landed here. If you’re like me, you had numbing agents to help you get through the pain and adversity of estranged relationships. Mine was alcohol. Even as a recommitted Christian, I continued to drink. And that caused more guilt. Not because I had a drink, but because I drank too much.
So, I began to consider giving up. I didn’t need that crutch any longer, but alcohol is extremely addictive, and I lived in a retirement community where happy hours abound. And I read some books and listened to podcasts when I walked. I discovered three resources that eventually helped me kick it to the curb.
- The Naked Mind by Annie Grace – she deals with the scientific brain altering functions that come with alcohol addiction. It was enlightening to see how I was being duped in my own mind.
- Sober Cycle by Sherry Hoppen – a Christian who suffered shame and guilt as she hid her addiction for many years until she no longer could. Her story will make you laugh and cry. Her vulnerability will resonate deeply.
- Sober Diaries by Clare Pooley – a British author who has an incredible gift for writing and shares her story of addiction to wine. Her humor is refreshing, and you’ll find yourself cheering her on as she faces a breast cancer diagnosis post addiction.
These three books helped me see that if these ladies could do it, so could I. Whatever you are numbing choice is, God wants you to give it to him. He’ll help you and your life will improve 100-fold.
Estrangement Grows Character
You may find this one hard to believe, but as a child of God, he will use your story to help others. As you learn the truth about who you are to him, he will help you shed guilt and shame.
- You’ll make amends where necessary.
- You’ll learn to forgive and it’s a process and not a one-and-done
- Not only will you forgive others, but you’ll also forgive yourself.
- Your mindset will shift as you embrace your life with Jesus.
- You’ll be like the blushing bride and others will notice a change in you.
- Your relationships may not all heal, but you’ll learn valuable lessons to use in others.
You see you can rise above estrangement and adversity. What does God have in store for you? Are you sensing a call to do something big but feel you aren’t qualified? Or fear holds you back? Learn to use your relationship with God as a steppingstone to grow your faith and trust in him.
Besides, he has a passion for you and a purpose for your life. When you’re stuck in mire with estrangement, it hinders your relationship with him and his plans for you. Vow this year to leave that behind.
2025 awaits and so does God. With open arms waiting for you to come home. Are you ready for a life changing new year? Start with a relationship with the one who loves you unconditionally.
This is the last podcast for 2024 so let’s all say goodbye.
Accordingly, let’s say hello to a relationship with God and to discovering new passion and purpose as we rise on the wings of adversity. Soaring together into 2025!