As one who is estranged from someone you love, do you wonder where God is in the relationship? Does he see your pain? Does he hear your prayers? Do you wonder why he doesn’t seem to care or lend any support to your broken heart?
I asked all those questions many times. I wondered if he even cared or if I should even bother him with my hurting heart since surely, he had bigger fish to fry than this.
And in that search and years of brokenness, I discovered that he was there all along, even when I didn’t feel or sense it. Today, I want to offer you hope and encouragement. He is there for you. He understands your pain because he experienced it too.
Do you wonder where God is in your estrangement? Let’s discover some truths and a new perspective in today’s episode.
How do You View God?
In my case, I viewed God from the perspective of the relationship I had with my biological and adoptive father. Scripture says God is our heavenly father, so it is natural to connect those. Count yourself blessed if you have an earthly father that portrays the image of God to you.
The rejected, abandoned, abuse that kids have experienced cause them to reject God because they equate him to their experience growing up. Or they blame him because he allowed the hardship to occur.
The first step in this process is to reexamine your view of God. And this time delve into what the Bible says about him. Question your current view. Is it accurate or is it a reflection of your upbringing? When you are open to exploring the truth about who he is, it changes your perspective about everything.
Do a google search with the words who is God and find the scriptures in the Bible to read. Open your Bible and your mind and let him speak to you about who he is. You’ll find as I did that the view you held is inaccurate.
The truth is God desires a relationship with you and that’s often difficult for us to accept.
God Made You for Relationship
The Bible is full of relationships and God’s desire for one with his people. You’ll find many accounts of those who chose a relationship with him and those that rejected him.
And so, my friend when you wonder where God is in estrangement, he is amid it. He knows all about relationships and rejection. You’ll find no one more understanding than God. But if your view of him is one of apathy or fear or even rejection, you’ll have a tough time with your estrangement.
As you read the scriptures about who he is turn your search to what he says about you. That’s where I really discovered that God was present in my emotional pain.
Here are a few of the things that are said.
- I am valued as a child of God.
- As his child, I am his heir.
- I am forgiven, loved, and accepted.
- He will never leave me.
- I can trust his faithfulness and promises.
As I began to see myself as he saw me, my perspective shifted even more. The initial part of the process opened my mind to who he is and who he said I am to him. An armed with that knowledge, I pursued where God was in estrangement with my relationship.
God Understands Estrangement
As I delved further into this study, I began to see rejection in many of the relationships he had while here on earth. Why did some love and follow him and others reject and run?
Why do we? I know the times in my life where I ran from him. I didn’t want to address things going on in my life. I wanted to oversee it on my own. And what I found enlightening is that he didn’t force himself on me. He waited patiently for me.
Have you ever felt like judgment was upon you? You’ve heard the saying, “Don’t go outside or you’ll be struck by lightning.” People often use that as a metaphor if they feel guilty about something and sense impending judgment.
That’s an inaccurate view of God’s love, mercy, and forgiveness. Because when you start the relationship of getting to know him, you’ll see a different side to that fallacy.
God’s desire was a relationship with humanity. And he had quite a following of those who trusted and loved him. But he had just as many if not more of those who rejected him. And this despite his demonstration of his love and forgiveness.
So, believe me when I say he understands rejection. He’s lived it. If we are indeed his children and you’ve rejected him, then he understands how you feel if one of your children has rejected a relationship with you. He has experienced the same emotional pain.
Where is God in Estrangement
If you believe scripture about who God is and who you are in him, then you’ll understand the intense emotional pain Jesus felt as he hung on the cross and said, “My God, why have you forsaken me?” If he experiences this kind of estrangement from his father, then he knows your pain intimately.
I’ve heard some question why a loving God would allow his son to experience that kind of pain and estrangement and there’s only one word – love.
His love for humankind was so strong that he provided atonement with the ultimate sacrifice which was his son. No other sacrifice would suffice because all others were flawed and Jesus according to scripture was pure and sinless making him the only acceptable sacrifice.
I know some of this makes no sense to those whose minds are closed. But if you are truly seeking where God is in estrangement, then it’s essential to consider:
- Who is he?
- Who are you in him?
- What was his purpose on earth?
- What decision have you made considering this knowledge?
- Do you believe he understands the pain of your rejection?
And that will lead you to a new level of trust in a God that understands and lived with rejection all his adult life on earth. And it will lead you to consider how he managed the rejection so that you can explore new perspectives and avenues to deal with the estrangement.
Is It OK to Question God?
Your upbringing may lead you to mistakenly believe that you can’t question God. Or, if you do that proverbial strike of lightning will find you.
Remember, God wants a relationship with you. Consider a healthy relationship. That of your spouse or a close friend. Do you feel that you must take everything they say at face value? Or are you free to ask questions and dialogue about a matter?
It’s not different with God. In fact, he wants you to question that with which you struggle. How else are you going to grow and gain insight if you don’t ask questions and seek answers? In any healthy relationship, you’re free to ask questions, share your understanding, shift your perspective, and consequently grow in the relationship.
Don’t stay stuck with a closed mind. Explore the truth. Consider another perspective. God is open to your questions.
Will My Estrangement Continue?
There is no guarantee that your estranged relationship will heal. But there is a guarantee to know that God is in the estrangement and that he understands your pain and emotional upheaval. He understands your spoken and unspoken words.
And isn’t that the primary point we desire? Sure, we want the estrangement to end. We want to reconcile and have a healthy relationship with that one we love. And hopefully that will occur.
What I wanted, and what I’ll bet you desire to is to be heard and understood. Family and friends tire of hearing your endless sad story but God doesn’t.
He desires a relationship with you – no matter what you’ve done. I’ve spoken with people who feel that because of their past God would never love or forgive them, much less desire a relationship. That is another inaccurate view.
Remember that cross? That perfect sacrifice? That was for you. “For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten son, that whoever believes in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.”
- Do you know that forgiveness?
- Do you desire a relationship with him?
- Have you asked him for forgiveness? If so, you’re forgiven.
- Have you invited him in your heart and accepted him as Lord of your life?
Regardless of what you’ve done, he stands ready to forgive those who ask. He’s already paid the penalty. He’s offered the gift. He’s just waiting for you to accept it.
And if you’ve accepted it but ran away for a while, he’s ready for you. I discovered when I turned around, there he was with wide open arms ready to welcome me home.
If you’re wondering where is God in estrangement, consider your own estrangement from him. Get into a relationship and you’ll discover peace and newfound wisdom to deal with those estranged in your own life.
Until next time – Remember to be better – not bitter!
